The one where we all turn thirty (+1)

At 30, you’re supposed to have things figured out. Apparently.

So, by now, I’m supposed to have found ‘The One’, or trying to find ‘The One’, be climbing up the ladder, or at least have some sort of career, have my own house/flat, savings, a pension, babies, blah, blah, blah. In short, I’m supposed to be a grown-up with all the grown-up trappings.

I have none of those – except for my own (rented) flat.

My Facebook feed regularly reminds me of this. I have to admit, this has run through my mind on a (few) occasions:

I don’t have to get married until I’m 33! That’s three years, that’s three whole years—Oh, wait a minute though. I’ll need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and I’d like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged… Which means I need to meet the guy by the time I’m thirty.

Yup – I can completely relate to Rachel in the above video. I’m not ashamed to admit that I had a plan. It got scuppered. Since hitting 30, it’s been torn up. There is no plan, no timeframe, no expectations. Instead, I’m putting all my eggs in the ‘when the time is right’ and the ‘someone will walk into your life when you least expect it’ basket. Part of me feels the pressure – the biological clock is ticking after all. However, a bigger part of me is sticking two fingers up. So what if I’m 30+1? I’m having too much fun to give up my body and my freedom. I am more sure about myself and have worked hard to like who I am. I figured out many years ago that if I didn’t this person, then why should everybody else? After all, I’ve got to live with me 24 hours a day.

Turning 30 feels like a milestone, as if it’s a mark of adulthood. Now that I’ve lived for 30 + 1 years, I don’t understand why. I have friends who have felt these expectations and, in truth, I think we all feed each other of this myth that turning the big 3-0 is the beginning of something, a marker of how grown-up we all are.

As Ms Green says: “Look, y’know I know my life’s going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people who’ve accomplished so many other goals by the time they’re thirty.”

If you feel the same as Rachel, why not use this to kick yourself up your arse and do those things you’ve always wanted to do? If this is the beginning of something, then make it a good ‘un.

Turning 30 isn’t a big deal. It really isn’t. It’s just a number and this is my life. Things will happen in its own good time. If I was to live to only 60, I would be past half-way of my life now. Here’s a scarier thing – I’m getting my state pension in 2045. Now that’s something to think about.

Book Review Friday – The Poe Shadow

In case you forgot, today is Friday which means one thing here on teacup and cake – #bookreviewfri! @oandthefoxes reviews a novel which follows a young lawyer trying to solve the mystery of Edgar Allan Poe’s death.

The Poe Shadow by Matthew Pearl 
I can’t even give this book 1 star, boy how I loathed it. The writing was clunky particularly when dialogue was involved. It felt more a homage to Poe with crassly shoehorned passages of Poe’s work rammed in with very little thought taken to how this would effect the pace of the narrative. In a word AWFUL.
The Poe Shadow

Check out the rest of the reviews under the Friday Book Review tab.

Have you read The Poe Shadow? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below or tweet  @oandthefoxes or myself, @sarahrajabalee using #bookreviewfri

Happy reading!

The start of something new

I’ve been thinking about this blog for quite some time now. It’s very rare that a day passes that I don’t think about blog posts. Recently, however, I’ve been staring at a blank screen wondering on what to write about.

Today, I decided to just write.

Time for tea

Time for tea

I have lots of things to say, and I often walk up the road and have half a blog post in my head. It promptly disappears when I come to sit  in front of my computer. I guess I’m wondering if anyone wants to know what I have to say. In the three years that teacup and cake has been going, its focus has changed as I have. It’s moaned about the snow, the transport system. It’s looked into foul language and has been travelling. And now, it’s lost to the wilderness and, to some extent, lost it’s identity.

The past couple of years has been hard, with the last few months being the hardest. When do you stop dreaming and realise that the goal/life/the thing you aspire too isn’t for you anymore? I feel like an utter failure for giving up on a career that I have worked so bloody hard for.

I underestimated how hard it has hit me. My career is vitally important. It’s part of my identity. To jack it all in was to jack in who I am. I always thought I knew who I was. I also knew that I didn’t like who I was becoming – someone who was very unconfident in her ability and skills. I didn’t know how to get my self belief back without turning my back on the industry that I was longing to be in.

A friend recently wrote to me (using real pen and paper – you should try it sometime!) saying that I’m a ‘dab hand at going for new stuff’.’ I guess that’s one good thing – I’m not shy at trying different things. I tend to grab opportunities as they present themselves which has led me to London.

It’s been three months, and I think I’ve finally got my head around at what I (think) I want to do. Part of me feels that I should keep cracking that nut, but it’s too exhausting. I’ve found a new goal and a new job in the travel industry. To be quite frank, I have no idea on where my life is going or what I am doing, but that’s all part of the adventure, right?

Book Review Friday – A Swarming of Bees

Are you after a quick read? This week @saralhawthorn reviews a historical novel set in Whitby.

A Swarming of Bees – Teresa Tomlinson

Like UK history? A good crime/mystery story? Then I recommend A Swarming of Bees, set in 600CE (common era) in Streonshalh, the place commonly now know as Whitby. The pace is good, the characters interesting – both from a personal and historical perspective – and it’s a fairly quick read. Excellent for weekend reading.

 

A Swarming of Bees

A Swarming of Bees

Check out the rest of the reviews under the Friday Book Review tab.

Have you read A Swarming of Bees? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below or tweet @saralhawthorn or myself, @sarahrajabalee using #bookreviewfri

Happy reading!

Book Review Friday – Snake Ropes

Have you just finished your book and after a good read? Look no further; @talesfromaspace recommends this debut book on an insular and isolated island life:

Snake Ropes – Jess Richards

‘Snake Ropes’, by Jess Richards, is a stunning debut novel that weaves myths, folklore and the imagination into a spellbinding, original tale. Set in an island community the alternating narratives of Mary and Morgan knit together as the book progresses encountering keys that talk, boys who disappear and the mysterious Thrashing House. This is an intelligent, thought-provoking story that had me on the edge of my seat – can’t wait for her next one.
Snake Ropes

I’ve decided to collect all the reviews in one place so you can see what my friends and I have been reading. Find them under the Friday Book Review tab.

Have you read Snake Ropes? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below or tweet @talesfromaspace or myself, @sarahrajabalee using #bookreviewfri

Book Review Friday – Walking Back to Happiness

Are you looking for a new book to start this weekend? You’re in luck. Today is Book Review Friday! I’ve reviewed a hilarious book on hiking for beginners.

Walking Back to Happiness – Christine Palmer

I really liked this book. It starts saying that this book isn’t for those who has walked to Everest Base Camp or ‘experienced slimmers who know their way around a good detox’. I’m one out of the two, but it didn’t stop me enjoying the trek. You meander through the author’s life as the author meanders through France and Spain, trying to lose weight and get her head together.

It has an unusual format which works once you’re used to it and gives tips to those who are thinking of walking a very long way. Funny and easy to read, it will make you pick up a pair of trainers and join the rest of the pilgrims. After all, if the inexperienced and naive Christine can do it, why can’t you?

Walking Back To Happiness

Walking Back To Happiness

I’ve decided to collect all the reviews in one place so you can see what I and my friends have been reading. Find them under the Friday Book Review tab.

Do you agree? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below or tweet me @sarahrajabalee using #bookreviewfri