The one where we all turn thirty (+1)

At 30, you’re supposed to have things figured out. Apparently.

So, by now, I’m supposed to have found ‘The One’, or trying to find ‘The One’, be climbing up the ladder, or at least have some sort of career, have my own house/flat, savings, a pension, babies, blah, blah, blah. In short, I’m supposed to be a grown-up with all the grown-up trappings.

I have none of those – except for my own (rented) flat.

My Facebook feed regularly reminds me of this. I have to admit, this has run through my mind on a (few) occasions:

I don’t have to get married until I’m 33! That’s three years, that’s three whole years—Oh, wait a minute though. I’ll need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and I’d like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged… Which means I need to meet the guy by the time I’m thirty.

Yup – I can completely relate to Rachel in the above video. I’m not ashamed to admit that I had a plan. It got scuppered. Since hitting 30, it’s been torn up. There is no plan, no timeframe, no expectations. Instead, I’m putting all my eggs in the ‘when the time is right’ and the ‘someone will walk into your life when you least expect it’ basket. Part of me feels the pressure – the biological clock is ticking after all. However, a bigger part of me is sticking two fingers up. So what if I’m 30+1? I’m having too much fun to give up my body and my freedom. I am more sure about myself and have worked hard to like who I am. I figured out many years ago that if I didn’t this person, then why should everybody else? After all, I’ve got to live with me 24 hours a day.

Turning 30 feels like a milestone, as if it’s a mark of adulthood. Now that I’ve lived for 30 + 1 years, I don’t understand why. I have friends who have felt these expectations and, in truth, I think we all feed each other of this myth that turning the big 3-0 is the beginning of something, a marker of how grown-up we all are.

As Ms Green says: “Look, y’know I know my life’s going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people who’ve accomplished so many other goals by the time they’re thirty.”

If you feel the same as Rachel, why not use this to kick yourself up your arse and do those things you’ve always wanted to do? If this is the beginning of something, then make it a good ‘un.

Turning 30 isn’t a big deal. It really isn’t. It’s just a number and this is my life. Things will happen in its own good time. If I was to live to only 60, I would be past half-way of my life now. Here’s a scarier thing – I’m getting my state pension in 2045. Now that’s something to think about.

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8 thoughts on “The one where we all turn thirty (+1)

  1. Dave Gorman says we don’t have to grow up until we hit 32 so we’re all fine 🙂 That said I have all the scary trappings these days…

    • Ah, eight more months. Whoo! It’s great you have all the scary trappings. I know a few single ladies who are getting a bit down because 30 is approaching and they don’t have the bloke, a sniff of a proposal and kids. I think they’re putting too much pressure on themselves. All in good time.

  2. Remember it’s arbitrary anyway – 20, 30, 40 only looks significant because we count in base 10, which is only because we have 2 hands x 5 fingers …if we had an extra digit on each hand, the biggie would probably be the number of years we currently think of as 36. Does that feel better?

  3. Pingback: Put Facebook down! | teacup and cake

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